Due to the mention below, I will be off-island Friday through Monday so will not be updating this page until Tuesday or Wednesday. I'll need that extra time to pull myself together after a whirlwind shopping trip.
Drats, I lost again. My dear husband just said, "You'll have to go do the Christmas shopping since I can't get away." Geeze. Sigh. So, I guess I'll be heading to the mainland this weekend. I'm trying really hard to get excited about this adventure but it isn't happening.
Today it seems that we are corrected constantly on what is considered to be "politically correct". Now imagine if Santa had to abide by those sometimes silly rules. The poor old man would be scratching his chin trying to accommodate the powers that be. I came across this and thought it was appropriate for the season.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he'd never had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passé;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."
Beaver Island doesn't just do the holidays, we DO the holidays. 2005 is no different so dig out your Christmas duds and get ready for all the doings coming up this week alone.
On Thursday, December 8th, it's the annual Cookie Carnival at the Beaver Island Christian Church beginning at 1:00 p.m. Get there on time to purchase some nutmeg logs, peanut brittle, air cookies, Rice Krispie bars, and all sorts of mouth-watering treats. If you're really lucky there may be a few samples for you to test.
Friday, December 9th beginning at 11:00 a.m. is the annual Grandparents Luncheon at the Beaver Island Community School. There are a few kids whose grandparents don't live on the island so if you'd like to volunteer to be a Grandma or Grandpa for a day, give the school a call. There will be a luncheon served, good conversation, and lots of music and laughter.
Friday evening and Saturday evening the Beaver Island Community Players will be performing "Captain's Outrageous" at the Holy Cross Parish Hall at 8:00 p.m. Adults $8/Children $5. This performance will have you giggling and guffhawing all evening.
Did you drive around the harbor this week hunting for this duck? Did you look carefully? It's located near Whiskey Point as the centerpiece of a small flower garden. Check it out. If anyone knows of something we all go past on a daily basis and would like to suggest it, let me know.
The Beaver Island Transfer Station will be closed on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Years Eve and New Years Day. The rest of the month it will be open the regular hours of Monday - Saturday 11:00 to 5:00 p.m.
An interesting feature in construction occurred this past week. Due to some really nasty weather which included snow, sleet, rain and wind, the workers covered all of the scaffolding with a wrap. This way they could contain the heat necessary for laying block and keep themselves protected. It was much like a gift as when it was "un-wrapped" we could see the finished wall. Hopes are that the roof will be built before the snows get too deep.